117-Day Ride

It's been approximately 117 days since I left home to take on this "Great Big Adventure." 117 days since I last hugged and kissed my parents (which I surprisingly could still remember quite vividly). 117 days since I've been seeing many different places and meeting many different faces. 117 days of discovering that I am capable of doing things that I've never done before. 117 days since I've been sprinting around what they call "the land of the free," and where to no surprise, I actually do feel the surge of independence slowly rubbing in. So far, it's been 117 days on a roller coaster ride. 

I was right about a lot of things. This is becoming to be a much bigger adventure than I ever thought it would. From going out on my own, to experience long flights, entering customs, riding trains, getting on the wrong buses, sleeping in total strangers' houses (it's not what it sounds like hehe), asking directions from the most random people, and walking miles and miles around unfamiliar territory --- with a whole list of basically getting lost everywhere, and yet, seeing picturesque and experiencing spontaneous things through the whole process, one can't help but feel as if she's just sleep walking the whole time. 

A friend asked me when I first got here, "It's addicting, isn't it?" She was talking about the new found sense of independence of course. I guess I'd have to admit that it really is. Before coming here, I said I was going "soul searching." And as cliche as that sounds, I think that's exactly what I have been accomplishing and am still trying to continue to do with being on my own. And yet, I'd have to admit that it still does get a bit scary. And thus, the baby steps that I take whenever I embark on something new. Though for the most part, I just can't help but go for the leap whenever I feel brave enough these days. 

It's really been one hell of an exhilarating ride. And even if it feels like the ride has been slowing down for quite some time now, somehow the next big drop feels like it's just right around the corner. And I'm definitely in for more surprises. Go ahead, give me the highs and the lows. Because at this point, I'm willing to jump into things while the supply for courage lasts. 

It hasn't always been an easy ride though. At certain times, the "fear of heights" creeps in. And every time there's a slow curve, it tends to hit where it hurts. But that's just what makes it even more interesting, isn't it? At least on a ride such as this, one realizes that he or she has things to lose and fear makes one see life through a different perspective. We can only be young once after all. And there's no point living life trying to play it too safe all the time. Take it from someone who's a constant worrier and who has the huge tendency to plan things way ahead just to be sure. 

I've been delaying explanation and synthesis for far too long now. I know so many people have a billion questions for me (assuming that people care hehe). And I know it's a bit selfish of me to keep everyone in the dark. But the real reason is really because I myself can't seem to put my fingers on everything just quite yet. That's right, I don't have answers for anyone right now. And to be honest, I don't even have any idea whether this "Great Big Adventure" will come to its end anytime soon... or whether it's only beginning. But that's all I can really give anyone at the moment. Though there's one thing I know, and it's that I was right with a lot of my expectations from the start. This trip has uncannily lasted way too long and too short at the same time. But I'm not complaining. 

It's been 117 days so far, and it'll be a few more days... or much longer than that. But when you're way on top and you're just about to go for the next huge drop, it's too late to make it stop. At least, not just yet. The past 117 days has been such a rush and I'm gripping on to dear life. I'm screaming and tears are running down my face from the gush of wind through my eyes... but through all of this, I'm smiling. It's been 117 days, but let's not stop counting... not yet. Let's just let the adrenaline kick in, and scream in chorus instead.